A dog for our dog

Months ago we decided that when we finally got a yard, we would get another dog for our dog to play with. A dog for our dog, if you will. Well, we finally have said yard, and have decided that the time is ripe for getting a new member of our household. So when in an exciting circumstance E noticed a flier for a person needing to find their dog a home, we jumped at the chance to look into this. Please understand. We aren't ready to commit to the whole puppy thing again. It was great - cuddly and furry and cute... But it was also stinky and messy and full of NO! and STOP THAT! So we've decided to get a more mature dog-puppy to avoid (hopefully) these things. We were thinking 6 months to a year, but hey, we're flexible.

So there is a person at work who for unknown reasons needs to get rid of her six year old Boston Terrier. Oooh cute, I think! They're so funny looking with those giant bat ears! How fun! I'm positive about everything, including this dog. Fabulous! But six? Maybe six is too old. I don't know, let's give it a shot. What could it hurt, anyway?

So off we go, headed to someone's house we've never met, but who assures us that her little dog "can handle herself" with big dogs because she was, and I quote, "raised with pits"! I have no idea what she means by this, because I've met some very nice pit bulls in my day. Maybe this is to make me believe that this little dog is tough? I don't know. Anyway, we get to her house and she is sitting on her porch. Waiting for us. While smoking. And wearing a mu mu. Oh, and no shoes. Yep, that's right. No shoes. She says to us, "She's a good little dog, but I'm going to be honest... She will pee and poop in the house." E and I exchange furtive glances. She scurries inside, cigarette hanging from her upper lip, calling back to us "Lemme git er!" She brings out the most pathetic looking creature I have ever seen. This poor dog seems to be absolutely terrified of me, E, the flowers, the rocks, the sky... Even the AIR seems to freak her out. I immediately realize that I am not the right person to love and nurture this little bug-eyed animal, no matter how terrible I feel for it. However, we hold the dog and talk to her and even make a big show of learning what she likes and doesn't like. We learn that she likes to sleep in bed - under the covers, eck - with you and likes for you to kiss her all over her neck. She likes to chew on a stuffed animal and chase balls. She was even hit by a car once. We learn all of this mostly because we can't figure out how to say nicely, um, thanks for the coffee but we aren't going to have a second date.

I'm sorry Zoee... We're going to have to find you a buddy next weekend after this weekend's extravaganza of family fun is over. Trust me, it never would have worked between the two of you.