Captain Adherent and me

After three weeks I'm now finding it within myself to write about something that happened recently. Why did it take so long, you might ask? Because it has taken me this long to decide to swallow my pride and admit that when it comes to traffic violations in this family, it's me. It's always me. It's always been me. And I suppose, I'm finding, that it will always be me.

Now I will admit, I have not always been the best driver. I wasn't. I drove too fast. I swerved around like an old drunk man in my lane. I texted while driving. I ate a hamburger while talking on the phone and changing lanes in downtown traffic while speeding and trying to balance a open can of soda between my legs. I did not drive while drinking, but pretty much anything that you can legally do in the car even though it isn't a good idea - I did all that. I can't ever remember applying makeup in the car, but that probably happened too.

Fast forward to college when my now-husband and I start dating. Apparently at first he always volunteered to drive not because he was chivolrous, as I thought, but instead because he feared for our lives when I was driving. Because he was still trying to woo me (his word, not mine), it took him nearly two years to muster the courage to say anything. After a few years of me being frustrated with his unrequested advice and his being frustrated with my unwillingness to learn, I can fully admit that I am now a much better driver. I use my blinkers. I no longer go more than 5 miles over the speed limit. I try my very best to be courteous at all times. (And I'll admit that this all happened prior to our children.)

So why then, is it ALWAYS me who gets traffic violations? I KNOW I've been in the car with him when he's sped just a little more than he was supposed to or cut someone off or generally done something unfriendly behind the wheel. Not often, but it happens. Despite this, if there's a ticket coming for something - it's got MY name on it.

So imagine my surprise three weeks ago to get the mail out of the mailbox and find an envelope addressed to my husband from the "City of Rowlett Red Light Camera Enforcement Division". Could it be, I wondered smugly to myself, that the king of all road rules has violated the rule of not running a red light - in an intersection with a CAMERA? I am feeling a little full of myself and a bit more pleased about this than I really probably should. Not because it was HIM, but for ONCE, it WASN'T ME!

I leave the envolope innocously on the counter until he gets home from work. As we're going through the mail he gets a concerned look on his face and I know he can see me watching him open this envelope - ALMOST with a little glee. I know he's annoyed with himself and probably super upset to have broken his years and years of clean driving record.

Until we see the picture. That's MY car. At 5:03 pm. At THAT particular intersection. On THAT day. There's no way there was ANYONE in the car but...

ME.

Dammit.

Turns out if you've got two names on the car and they live at the same place, if you run a red light they just send it to the first name on the list. Doesn't matter who it was.

Except it's ALWAYS me.

Again - dammit.