Just an hour or so after B was born - 12 August 2010...
N and B in late May (because I've become increasingly terrible at uploading pictures and am honestly too lazy/tired to go get the camera and do it right now.)
At this point one year ago I was very pregnant. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure that at 8.5 months along there was no mistaking what I was baking. I decided that I'd capitolize on my company's pretty awesome maternity leave policy, so even though my official due date wasn't until August 22nd, I decided to take the last two weeks before my due date as maternity leave. That means that one year ago at this point I was prepping for my last day or work before B was born.
There's no doubting what I did with my free time that I was off - I was nesting. I did more in the time leading up to B's birth than I do in many months normally. I cleaned everything. I rearranged everything. I washed all clothing in our house. I gutted a closet and even considered painting a room. (E put the kibosh on painting, but I totally would have done it, if not for him.) The day I went into labor, I planted a crape myrtle in our front garden. All the crazy cleaning and reorganizing and tree planting caused me to go into labor 11 days early. So 10 days before it was supposed to happen, B was in our lives.
I will never forget the feeling of absolute love and adoration I felt for both of our sons from the moment I saw their little faces. I know this doesn't happen instantly for all parents. But for me, the love I felt for B was instantaneous, pure, and whole.
I don't talk about it much, but this past year has been the most beautiful, wonderful, and hardest of our entire lives. E wouldn't talk about it either, but I'm sure he'd agree with me.
Approximately 24 hours after B was born, they discovered a "problem". When the first words the nurse says to you when she comes in is, "Now, I think you should sit down, but know that everything will be okay.", you know that everything isn't the way it's supposed to be. At that point, we learned that B had some issues that were going to require surgery to take care of. I had no idea what that meant. I was 24 hours post-partum. I was all alone. E had gone to get N to introduce him to his new little brother. My family was not there. All alone, I sat in a hospital room one day after giving birth and listened to a nurse tell me that they had called for an ambulance to transport my 1-day-old son to Children's Medical Center of Dallas' NICU.
The next few days were a whirlwind of medical staff, tests, waiting, praying, waiting, praying, crying, waiting, waiting, waiting... Finally, after 1 surgical procedure and entirely too many days, we got to take B home. Neither of us had slept much and up until a few days before I had no idea what an ostomy bag was, but I knew that somehow, someway, there was a reason for what was happening and that everything would be okay. I cannot possibly thank the family and friends who supported us in that time (and all the other times) enough.
The next few weeks were normal, then B got an infection. We were back at Children's for antibiotics and rest. He turned out to be fine, but it was scary anyway. At 8 weeks old he endured yet another surgery. Finally, at 4 months old, he had his final surgery. After a painful recovery period in the hospital, we were able to go home.
Now we have two of the most beautiful (ehem, handsome!) little boys I've ever seen. N is crazy as ever, but right now I'm talking about B. Everyone expected him to have issues, be behind in development, potentially develop other problems.
He didn't. In fact, he's exceeded everyone's expectations. He was rolling over by 4.5 months. Sitting at 6 months, right on schedule. Crawling by 7 months. Took his first steps at 9.5 months. Now, at 11.5 months, he walks all the time (no more crawling for him!), has a few words, and is very opinionated. He loves his big brother, our dog, and his mom and dad. He's happy. He's healthy. He's all I could ever have hoped for.
I love him more than I can possibly say. And I love every one of you who has walked this journey with us. It has been a long road, and there are many many years ahead of us. I'm just so thankful for the loving friends and family who have gone above and beyond in so many ways.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I love this guy.
