Corn chip feet

There are some things most dedicated dog owners know, but will be reluctant to tell for fear of sounding absolutely bonkers. Corn chip feet is one of those things. That's right, feet. I challenge you to find a dog owner who doesn't know that dog feet smell like corn chips. It's happened to the best of us, without our knowledge or consent. You're sitting there, scratching a happy dog between the ears and you catch a whiff of something all too familiar. Is someone having Frito pie? Is there bean dip you're missing out on? Someone, somewhere very near you, has opened a bag of corn chips.

It takes a few minutes to realize that no one is in fact eating anything. You start looking around, sniffing for some errant chip that escaped during your last shin-dig. Nope. Nothing. Your dog looks at you and sniffs around as well - they are, after all, happy to help. Your sniffing leads your right to... The feet. Corn chip feet.

I firmly believe that any dog owner that won't own up to this knowledge either has an outside-only dog, is lying, or has completely lost their sense of smell.

I know you're tempted to try it.

Lake Ray Hubbard, I have a crush on you

On this, the first Satuday without a regimented plan in nearly a month, E and I headed out to the lake with Zoee. The lake is blissful. Boating is heavenly. Floating around processing sun into vitamin D is good for my bones. Anyway, we were super excited.

Zoee is a Labrador, which means she LOVES the water. But it's hard to pull a wet, swimming dog into the boat without any leverage. Today we tried a new tactic. We put her in a life preserver. This not only improved our ability to pull her back in, but it also gave her endurance she's never known before.

Needless to say, after two hours of nonstop swimming, we were finished. After a long nap and some drying out, and this afternoon, she's ready to go again.

That ain't a fire ant

This past weekend I ventured down to Houston for some good-natured party-time at my sister's bachelorette shin-dig. I was planning on recounting all of the fun we had celebrating in Houston this weekend, which included a shower, some ridiculous hat, shopping, massages, dinner, and drinks. But when I got home my husband had a different story, I believe you'll be glad I shared.

While I was away for the weekend, E went up to see his parents. Usually when I am there, visiting the padres involves his mom and me hanging out in the house while E and his dad tromp around in the mud, dirt, and brambles with the dog. Apparently the only difference when I can't come is that no one is there to hang out with his mom. The boys? In the dirt. E, his dad, plus one more... This guy:This, my friends, is a striped bark scorpion (Centruoides vittatus). It is one of the many varieties of things in Texas that try to sting, bite, or otherwise poison you. E met it in a most unfortunate way. As told by him:

"Well, I was down in the fish pond filter hole and we were finishing up putting the filter in place. As I was getting out and walking back to the house, I realized I had a fire ant in my pants. I swatted it and this only successfully upset the monster. He stung me again, this time, much higher up the leg. Plus, the burning... A lot more intense. At this point I ripped my boots off because my jeans wouldn't go over them, then proceeded to unceremoniously shuck down to socks, shorts, and a t-shirt. After turning my jeans inside out I found the little guy. While he was mad, I was madder, and he quickly met his end."

When he finally decided he was free of all potential poison-ers and had reapplied his pants, he went inside. He told his mom about this whole incident and she had apparently missed the entire show. E dancing in his underpants on the back patio? Yeah, she didn't see that whole thing. Fortunately, his dad did. Someone has to be able to tell this story at future family gatherings.

From where I sit, it sounds pretty hilarious. (Now that I know he's fine, of course.)

I think it's mocking me

Before our black thumbs got a hold of it...We moved into our house in March of this year. When we moved in, the yard was beautifully manicured. Beautiful azaleas out front in the garden, lovely purple cabbage decorating the walk, Burr Oak trees listing lazily in the wind, and a ocean of green green Bermuda to sink our toes into. It was a sight to behold. In fact, check it out. It's beautiful.

This lovely piece of land, unlike the other homes on our block, did not come equipped with an in-ground sprinkler system. No problem, I think. I didn't grow up in a house with a sprinkler system. Neither did he. Installing one costs HOW much? We'll just water our lawn ourselves, thank you very much.

It's now August, and we've had more 100-plus degree days than I care to recount. With the two of us holding down full time jobs and our worthless dog refusing to do any kind of yardwork, the lovely landscaping fell into something of a state of disrepair. Not that we weren't trying. Every evening we'd come home and water all areas of the yard thoroughly and drench the flowerbeds. We filled up watering bags to keep the trees sated day and night. We were really, honestly, trying to keep things lovely.

Despite our best efforts, we soon realized that not only were we fighting a losing battle, but that it was being highlighted brilliantly by the fact that our neighbors were not involved in any such war with their yards. Their yards? Lush and green. Like jade masterpieces in the summer sun. Our yard? Some stage between Texas desert and the Serengeti.

In the end, we ended up giving up. We had sprinklers installed to help salvage what little dignity we had left with the neighbors. Not only is the grass some sickly shade of yellow, but it now has two inch wide dirt trenches running throughout where the sprinklers were put down. There is a ray of hope though. We now have green patches. It's only a matter of time before it's back to the flowering masterpiece it once was.

And my Knockout Rose is STILL a knockout.

The tie that binds

Okay, so this picture is some two or three years ago, but in it you'll find three generations. Mom, me, and my grandma... Since I can remember, the three of us have been something of a team. This is illustrated no more brilliantly than on the day many call "Black Friday". We were like some kind of unstoppable force on Black Friday. Christmas presents purchased for everyone and anyone - if it was something someone - ANYONE - needed, we were on top of it. We were something of shopping dynamos.

Then came the day when E and I moved to Colorado, which is a state far far from Texas, when put in terms of a weekend drive for a shopping trip. The Black Friday madness was put on hiatus - indefinitely. With me living some 1200 miles away, shopping all day long was a far-fetched impossibility. It was a sad day for the dynamic trio. Black Friday indeed - the words held something of a sinister meaning all of the sudden for us. It was the day we USED TO have a bonding moment that none of the men in the family could understand.

Flash forward five years, and we find me all moved back to Texas. Driving - no problem. Shopping, on again! In an effort to make up for lost time, my mom and grandmother drove up to Rockwall to spend the weekend shopping in the Big D. Black Friday be or not, we were going to go shopping whenever we felt like it - holiday or not. We hit up every mall that we could think of. We spent two hours in Ikea alone! It was a shopping extravaganza. We had really returned to our original shopping glory. We were full of fun - talking and catching up. It was just like old times. The only thing is, Black Friday is on a Friday. Typically we have an entire weekend to recover from elbowing little old ladies out of the best bargains. I'm exhausted. Next time we'll have to go on a Friday - just so I have plenty of time to recover.

My mom and grandmother? Ready for another round. I'm the wuss in this family battle.

My dog, part bovine

Our dog loves our backyard. Especially now, the new and improved lawn - with sprinklers! You might think that she loves to frolic, to fetch, to sniff... Well sure. Those are all fine and good. But why do all that when you can EAT? The backyard is our dog's salad. Bermuda grass? Might as well be arugula. Canna lillies? You must mean cucumbers. Alfia, no, you are actually spinach.

I've got to get the dog off the greenery before I'm out of yard altogether. We might as well have a goat.

A visceral reaction

It's like taking a step back into time - Walking into the 6th Floor Museum in what used to be the Texas Book Depository in downtown Dallas. You learn about this moment in history, but you never really know what it must have been like, at least not if you weren't there. A moment forever remembered in history through a pink suit, a motorcade, a president. The museum leads you through the life and times of President Kennedy, up through the terrible day in 1963 that all centered around this very spot, the place where you are standing now. It makes you draw in a deep breath. You watch footage, you remember his dreams, you wonder what might have been. Most of all, you want to do more. You want to be do better. You want to be better.

The museum is worth visiting. There were moments that took my breath and pulled at my emotions. I left feeling moved and stirred and better somehow. It was well worth the trip.

Everything's bigger in Texas

This weekend we had a friend visit us from Colorado. In Denver, this is the guy we could always count on for anything. A good conversation, a drink after work, someone to play with your dog... This guy is pretty much all around one of our favorite people in the world. So we were SUPER excited to have him visit.

We did all kinds of fabulous Dallas-y things while he was here. First and foremost (and perhaps most importantly) we spent hours on Friday afternoon floating around the lake catching up. You'd be amazed how easy it is to catch up on a lake, especially when it's 104 degrees outside and all you want to do is stay as submerged as possible. It was great. We found a quiet cove and just swam the afternoon away. After all this we went to dinner, but it's amazing what a day of work, swimming, and sun will do to you, especially when you throw in a few drinks. We were exhausted.

There are some things about Dallas that are unique to the city. The 6th floor museum near Dealay Plaza, the West End, the Texas Rangers, the Arboretum... Plus all the Mexican food you can handle. And Blue Bell ice cream. Songs about Texas playing over loudspeakers everywhere... We did it all. And had a fantastic time doing it.

It was great to catch up. We can't wait until the next time we get together again. I just hope next time E does all the driving.