E and I moved to Texas (one of the fatter states in the union) from Colorado (the absolute leanest state there is) approximately a year and a half ago. (It's true, check out the survey here.) We rationalized that the increase in girth could be solved mathematically. Our original hypothesis was:
chubbiness = (crushing heat) x (delicious cheesy smorgasbord of Mexican food) / (available mountains to climb)
I can see it. It makes sense. More heat, more Mexican food, less mountains... It works out beautifully. This is why people in Texas are chubbier, I'm thinking.
But today I realized that was not, in fact, the right equation. The right equation, it turns out, is simply:
chubbiness = (fried butter)
Any group of people who celebrate fried food as much as Texans were bound to find a way to make the absolute worst possible food of all time. Fried butter. Seriously. I think it would be better if we poured a bunch of ranch dressing over it.
2 comments:
That just made me throw up in my mouth...gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
where did you find fried butter?
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